Laura's Testimony

Laura was a happy little girl; she and her 2 sisters were born and brought up at a British Forces camp in Germany. Her Daddy was posted to fight in a war far away and she worried a lot about him. She could see and hear on the news about people being killed and lots of bombs going off and she hoped and prayed her Daddy would be safe.

She was very excited when she was told that Daddy would be home soon, but when Daddy came home, things were very different.

He had lots of scars and marks on his hands and face that got better through time but he wasn’t fun like he had been before he went to war. He was angry and shouting and he hit Mummy. She was very sad. He got drunk a lot and he even wet the bed. One night when Laura heard a noise, she went to explore and found her Daddy under the bed shaking and screaming, he looked scared. She was very scared too.

He’s not in the army now and Mummy and Daddy have split up. She is very sad because we have had to move back to Scotland from Germany where we were happy and things were fun. Me and my sisters don’t know anybody and my little sister gets bullied at school. We haven’t got a proper house yet, the council don’t have any and Mummy is out working trying to save for a deposit for a house for us. We don’t see her very much, I have to watch my little sisters but I’m not allowed to tell anyone because Mummy is worried they will take us away if I do. I’m scared; I miss my Daddy. Not the angry one, but the one who played and had fun with me and my sisters. I miss my Mummy too; she is always too busy for us. I’ve seen her crying too.

Her new boyfriend says if I keep quiet and keep out of her way, she’ll get better, but my sisters need things that I can’t do. My little sister got nits at school. I haven’t any money to buy the shampoo. We got letters home from school, but I didn’t want to give them to Mummy in case she got upset again.

This story was written as a school essay composition and picked up by a teacher who recognised the child as Laura and helped her and her sisters in confidence.

Laura is 20 and grown up now. Her Dad committed suicide when she was 11 and her sister is a drug addict and in and out of rehabilitation. She and her other sister are doing well but find it difficult to make friends and sustain relationships. Her Mum remarried but now she drinks a lot and they don’t see her much. She and her sister share a flat and are building a new life for themselves. Laura contacted Frontline Families to share her experience/s with others. Her only happy childhood memories are of playing games with her father. She believes that play helps break down barriers and creates a platform for communication. She herself has been in counselling for many years. She wishes there was a charity like Frontline Families that she could have turned to.

Names and exact details have been changed slightly to help protect the identity of the individuals concerned.

A lost childhood

A lonely child in a hidden world
Too scared to tell, too programmed to disobey
And more, at school abuse is hurled
To the child whose life’s in disarray

A child who can only watch
As other children play
While she is taken from her bed
each night as her abusers prey

Not one man or two or even three or four
There are sometimes several waiting at the door
No one hears her cries or knows her pain
She fantasises and takes her soul to another plane

A place where someone cares and knows her name
A place where she will be free to be a child again
A place where all the scars of her early years
Will fade and help to wash away her tears

No amount of time can fully heal
No amount of pain portrays the real
and truly degrading and frightening life she’s lead
Where many a night she prayed that she was dead

No one to tell, no one to care
No one to hear her silent prayer
No one to hold her in their arms
No one to keep her safe from life’s harms

Anon (an abused child)

If you have been affected by this poem and need someone to talk to, or share your feelings with (in complete confidence) please contact us www.frontlinefamilies.co.uk